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Purchase: Texas Tech University Press
HALL WAYS BLOG: REVIEW: So
much pain. So many questions. So little forgiveness. In At Close Range, Leesa
Ross takes readers along on the horrendous journey that no parent should ever
have to take, but one which too many have, and must continue to take: the death
of a child by gunshot wound. In her open
and bluntly honest memoir, Ross’s grief is palpable, her desperation washing over
the reader.
Perhaps it’s inappropriate given the topic of the book, but
I’m going to go there and point out that it was the cover of At Close Range
that sold me on reading it. The jacket design is eye-catching and alluring,
even to someone like me who doesn’t own a gun, doesn’t like guns, wouldn’t care
if they were all wiped from the planet. (I know, I’m a native Texan and I said
that out loud.) However, I’m realistic and know that guns aren’t going
anywhere, and the simple message of the two items on that cover – a gun + lots
of padlocks – indicated a story I might be okay reading.
I think most mothers would say they’ve allowed the “what if”
thoughts of losing a child to enter their minds, and for me, those dark thoughts
are usually sparked by empathy and learning of someone who has lost a
child. I don’t want to think about the unthinkable, but when I encounter someone suffering that loss, I can’t help it. Until I read Leesa’s story, I had only thought
broadly about gun safety in terms of laws that need to be made and enforced to
prevent mass shootings. Like Leesa:
“I never thought
to have the new version of The Talk. The one about handguns.”
While there are plenty of things I couldn’t relate to in
Ross’s very personal story, I’m a mom, and I’m a mom with my youngest son the same
age now as when Leesa’s son, Jon, died. Instant connections. By walking
side-by-side as Leesa tries to reconcile something that’s unreconcilable, the
reader can’t help but imagine being in her shoes. We never had “The Talk” about
handguns with our kids. We don’t own guns, so no need, right? Wrong. All my
kids, from ages 23-31, will now have to tolerate another Memo from Mom. It’ll
probably be one of those things I preface with telling them I am sure that they
know better BUT it’s other people’s actions I worry about. And I’m a
grandmother now, so you can bet that I’ll be teaching and preaching to my sweet
grandbaby every chance I get.
“Mom, it’s not the
gun that killed Jon.”
What’s particularly interesting about Leesa is that after
the tragedy that struck her own family, she’s not anti-gun. And neither are her
other children; in fact, her second son became a gun collector and very calmly
would remind his mom that the gun wasn’t the problem; that it was loaded, and the
owner was careless, and Jon was naïve (complacent?) about guns were the problems.
This line of thinking is difficult for me, but through those candid conversations
within the Ross family, I’ve expanded my understanding about gun lovers and maybe even become a
bit more open-minded.
“We have hundreds
of pages of safety rules for stepladders, I learned.”
The majority of At Close Range is Leesa’s grief
journey, and at times, the hops around the timeline were a little confusing and
sometimes repetitious – feeling more like a personal journal than a published memoir.
Through every stage of her grief, there’s a constant thread, an almost obsessive
compulsion, of the author to find answers about the exact circumstances of Jon’s
death. (I know I would have the same obsession.) She often refers to channeling
her inner Nancy Drew, and she finds strength and confidence in that role. In her
quest to find answers, she ultimately turns her despair into a mission to save
lives.
Regrettably, Leesa’s foray into being a gun safety advocate doesn’t get much page time. The gaps in that part of her journey leave me a little unsatisfied. I not only want to know more about getting to the point where Lock Arms for Life was born, I also need a little more time to come out of the fog of despair, to absorb Leesa’s finding her purpose, and to feel hopeful that Leesa’s organization can effect change. Perhaps there’s another book in the works that explores those elements, or perhaps we’re supposed to still ache a bit when we close the cover. After all, it’s not a happy ending.
GIVEAWAY! GIVEAWAY! GIVEAWAY!
FIVE WINNERS each get a hardcover copy of At Close Range.
US Only. Ends midnight, CST, 2/26/21
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Thank you for this great review! The more people who read my book, the more lives I might save. I loved the "memo from mom" comment. I get that from many parents I educate — gun owners and non-gun owners. And you might be right, "perhaps there's another book in works." Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteYou are most welcome. It's an important book for everyone to read: parents (and aunts & uncles, too), educators, church and community leaders. Thank you for sharing from the heart.
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